Adopted at 5 but My Name Still Feels Foreign to My Family

 At 36, I still find myself correcting my family on the pronunciation of my name. Adopted from Bulgaria at age 5, my name was Americanized from the start. My parents preferred to say it their way, and the rest of the family followed suit. It wasn’t until high school, after reconnecting with my Bulgarian roots, that I realized I wanted to reclaim the original pronunciation. However, my family struggled to adjust, often joking about their attempts, dismissing my request, or ignoring it altogether.

In college, I made a fresh start, confidently correcting people, but at home, little changed. As the years passed, I saw how their resistance reflected a broader issue, how we sometimes overlook the identities of those who come from different backgrounds. Now, as a therapist, I understand how crucial names are to identity and self worth.

After getting married, I legally added a surname from before my adoption, further embracing my heritage. While I don’t resent my family, their ongoing mispronunciation reminds me of the subtle harm caused when we don’t take the time to understand each other. I hope that by modeling self respect and cultural pride, my son, nieces, and nephews will learn the importance of honoring names and the identities they represent.